


To Grandpa

by Glamofoxy89



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Character Death, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 05:50:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13381488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glamofoxy89/pseuds/Glamofoxy89





	To Grandpa

In dream you ran throught dark, moldy forest trying to find something – someone. Tears were running in your cheeks, screaming suffocated in your throat. Desperate to find and hold tight, you ran without a map or compass. You did fall, cuts in your feet's – never giving up.

 

Even if the pain hurted you then, you still continued the search and forgot your dreams in the light of morning. With dry eyes you watched and standed in the funeral. You didn't feel a thing.

 

Like ice you looked, some part still not believing, trying to find him in the crow of faceless mass. You searched and searched him, you wanted to stop him. Wanted to beg someone to keep him _just one second more_ here.

 

Your eyes empty you walked in silence, words were going straight pass – nothing to grasp on, still seeing his face on your eyes. Almost smelling him as if he was next to you, your heart raced – _wishing this was only cruel dream_ , glanced around and felt how heart broke little bit more.

 

You were alone, _cold._

 

Some people whispered how cold you were, not a single tear on the surface, they said how you didn't respect him, your grandfather. And still deep inside of you, you were screaming like a child – _hearbroken._

 

You watched how the lid opened in the wall and the coffin slided in, flames were dancing hungrily. And still you just wanted to scream, to stop this – your grandfather still alive and the people who were around you, just murderers of bad kind. Paralyzed you standed there, without tears or griev. You were trying to remember how the hell you breathe while people started talking, walking away.

 

You just wanted to open the lid, save your grandfather – keep him here just a little bit more. No no no, where were the goodbye or the proper last words? You felt cheated and robbed. Something so precious had stopped glowing, you felt so lost, so tired.

_Just wanting to follow your grandfather._

 

\----

 

Days went by clouded and full of holes. You sat in your unmade bed, watched photograps – moments stilled in paper. Your eyes never portrayed nothing as you gently touched those moments, so precious and dear.

 

Your parents arguing somewhere, music blasting more and more, until there were no one else than you and the bittersweet memories. Your world was stopped and full of grayness, dullness – stillness.

You just wanted him back, to touch you – _make you feel safe once more._

 

After all your grandfather was a soldier, he had standed before you so strong looking and still so gentle, letting you to be a child. Giving you the love that you had always yearned and too little gotten. He made every bruise, every cut in your soul go away – soothing you to the core. Smiling and laughing, he gave you hope – _love._

 

In your dreams, you saw his back far away and you tried to follow him, catch him. To be okay once again. Coldness made home in your soul as the day went by.

 

\----

 

Few weeks later you walked in cemetery again. Snowing had stopped, air crispy and cold, still you didn't feel anything. Your father going before you, it was time to lay down the urn of your grandfather. You standed front of the grave, little hole visible as your father layed his father to the grave. You looked empty that day, numb in the core.

You looked like a little child, lips moving and you whispered final wish, _”Grandpa, don't go too fast – wait for me there.”_

 

Days and years went by fast, full of struggle and pain. No one knew what happened behind of your home's window curtains. You grove up more ways than others, find a job and moved out. One night, when the blackness at the door wanted to destroy you, your grandfather was sitting at your bed, looking you and smiling.

 

Told you to go back to sleep, he would protect you. And still you didn't tell him, what you had wanted to say so many years _”Grandfather, I love you, I miss you so much. Please don't leave yet, I'm not strong enough.”_

 

When the morning came, you just curled into ball and cried, still smelling his scent – almost touching him.

 

\-----

 

It was so dark, but gently darkness where you walked. You were calm and walking down some little path, where you didn't know and why – _you didn't care._

 

Someone moved next to you, hooded and blacker than black. Hooded one told you something, smiling you thanked and continued your journey. And in the morning when you woke up, you cried. Remembering the words,

 

” _Your Grandfather has moved savely to the other side, he will be waiting you there when it's yours time.”_

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
